Joke for The Day
GENTLE BOSNIAN
In the restaurant sitting at the table, a German, Italian and Bosnian, and their wives.
The German said to his wife, "give me sugar, sugar. "
Italian says : "give me honey, honey. "
Bosnian said to his wife : "give me milk, cow "
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MEN AND HIS RETIRIMENT
Man has turned true years for retirement, so he went in to ask for social pension. When their turn came and told the clerk
to ...
... Why the counter has come and she requested a document that will confirm how many years has.
Hi check in his pockets and did not see any documents and tells the lady that hi forgot his wallet at home and he would go to take them. Since was the end of the working time, the clerk told him there was no time to wait, so she told him to take off his shirt.
So hi takes off his shirt, and when the clerk saw the white hair on his chest immediately approved pension.
The old man glad hi came home and hi told his wife how he got his pension, and the woman told him:
Off , if you take off your underwear maybe she wold give you a disability pension, says his wife.
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EXAM TEST
Myjo and Haso are going on exam on college.
First enters Muyo and professor asks him a question.
For example, you travel by train Muyo and its very warm in the van, what will you do?
so I will open the window.
well ok.The window has an area of 1.5 m2 van has a capacity 12m3, the train rushes 80mk / h in the west wind blows southern 5m / s.
For how much time will be fresh air in the coupe?
Myjo course he did not know and hi fell on the exam.
Out of the office waits Haso and hi told him what happened and said to him, Haso no matter what hi will ask you you don't open the window.
Haso then enters and the professor again repeat the same question,
Haso said the professor for example you travel by train and is very warm in coupe.What will you do?
I Take off my jacket.
Its very warm "said Professor
I take off my sweater and shirt
But it is terribly hot???
I take off my pants and socks said Haso.
Then annoyed professor begins to rage.
And what do you think if across from you is sitting big guy and he gets hard until you take off your clothes?
Professor as I'm concerned the whole coupe can f... me but I wont open the window...
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FUNNY STORY
One day I met a wonderful gentleman and fell in love. When it became clear that we are serious , I have decided to stop eating beans.A few months later, on my birthday, my car broke down while I was returning home from work. Since I lived in the village, I called MY husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.Going so by the time I came across a small public house from which the smell of beans and I just could not resist. Since I had to walk more miles and miles, thought I was going to be through the release of all side effects until I come home. I entered the tavern and the hour of work I time or two "three servings of beans. When I continued to walk, I tried to rid myself of all the gas.When I arrived, my husband was happy to see me and said cheerfully: - "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner! " Then I was blindfolded and led me to the chair at the table for dining.I sat, and just when he wanted to take off cover, the phone rang. Forced me to promise him that I would not touch the cover until he returned, and went to report. Beans that I ate it still worked and the pressure became unbearable, so I took the opportunity while my husband does not return, abruptly to one side and lets ' one. Not only was it loud, but it is stinking as when the truck with fertilizer, passing by the mill, run over by a skunk. I took the napkin with wings and vigorously blew the stench.Then I stressed to the other side and broke three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. I was hearing my husband that hi was still talking on the phone in the next room, I continued like this to lower the next few minutes.Pleasure was indescribable. When the greeting on the phone marked the end of my freedom, I made a few quick circular motion napkin to blow everything back a napkin on my lap and with a sense of satisfaction and relief, I put MY hands on MY lap.My face is surely the most innocent possible expression betrayed when my husband came back and apologized that are so long. He asked me if I was sticking out and I assured him that I did.At this point, we took off the blindfold, and twelve guests who were sitting at a table in a voice cried out:- "Happy Birthday!"I fell unconscious!
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BIRTHDAY
Police officer enters in church and begins to blow the candles. The priest goes to him and asks:
- Why did you blow the candles?
- What do you mean why? Today is my birthday!
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FART COMPETITION
Grandparents starts compiting in farting , first grandpa farts and extinguished the fire, Granma farts and blow fireplace then grandfather said, oh it is easy when you shoot from double-barreled.
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COPS JOKE
Two cops and police dog are going on patrol. One of the cops always
bends down and looks at the dogs ass.
- What are you always looking behind the dog ? asks the other.
-Well, one kid goes behind us and said: ".. see a dog with two assholles,
and I see only one.
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DRIVING LICENCE
Policeman:
What do you drive it can not be called a car!
Gypsy driver responds:
Well, I told you, thats why I dont have a driver's license!
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SCALE
The Englishman boasted the hi bought to his wife a Porsche for a birthday that goes from 0 to 100 for 7 seconds.
Frenchman said: - And I bought mywife a Ferrari that goes for 5 seconds from 0 to 100, "
Bosnian listened and said: - I bought her a gift and for a 1 second goes from 0 to 100, "
Oh, impossible, you talk nonsense,such think doesnt exist. And what did you buy?
Scale- said the Bosnian.
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FRIENDS AND THEIR SONS
Four friends, who have not seen each other for 30 years ago, they met again at a party. After a few drinks, one of the men had to go to the toilet. Those who remained talked about their children.
The first man said, My son is my pride and joy. He started working in a successful company at the bottom of the ladder. He studied economics and business administration and soon began to advance in the corporation, and is now president of the company. He is so rich so hi gave as a present to his best friend, a top Mercedes for his birthday.
Another man said, "Hey, that's terrific! And my son is my pride and joy. He started working in a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. In the end hi became partner in the the company, and owns most of the assets of the company. Ht is so rich that HI gave HIS best friend, brand new- jet for his birthday.
The third man said, Well that's great! My son is studying at the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. And he gave very beautiful and expensive house to his best friend for his birthday: a villa of 30,000 square meters.
Three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the toilet and asked, "What congratulate each other?
One of the three said, We talked about the pride that we feel because of the success of our children. And your son?
The fourth man said, My son is gay and earns as a stripper dancing at a nightclub. The three friends said: "What a shame ... What a disappointment! The fourth man replied: No,Im not ashamed. He is my son and I love him. And is not that bad pass in life. For his birthday who was two weeks ago hi got a lovely mansion of 30,000 square meters, the new- jet and a top Mercedes from his three boyfriends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AIR CONDITIONER
Mujo and Haso went to sea, Mujo took the door of his car and Haso his cookies .
Mujoasked Haso -Haso what will youdo with your sweets?
So I can eat them and what will you do with that door from your car ?
-So when it will be hot I can open the window.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the restaurant sitting at the table, a German, Italian and Bosnian, and their wives.
The German said to his wife, "give me sugar, sugar. "
Italian says : "give me honey, honey. "
Bosnian said to his wife : "give me milk, cow "
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MEN AND HIS RETIRIMENT
Man has turned true years for retirement, so he went in to ask for social pension. When their turn came and told the clerk
to ...
... Why the counter has come and she requested a document that will confirm how many years has.
Hi check in his pockets and did not see any documents and tells the lady that hi forgot his wallet at home and he would go to take them. Since was the end of the working time, the clerk told him there was no time to wait, so she told him to take off his shirt.
So hi takes off his shirt, and when the clerk saw the white hair on his chest immediately approved pension.
The old man glad hi came home and hi told his wife how he got his pension, and the woman told him:
Off , if you take off your underwear maybe she wold give you a disability pension, says his wife.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EXAM TEST
Myjo and Haso are going on exam on college.
First enters Muyo and professor asks him a question.
For example, you travel by train Muyo and its very warm in the van, what will you do?
so I will open the window.
well ok.The window has an area of 1.5 m2 van has a capacity 12m3, the train rushes 80mk / h in the west wind blows southern 5m / s.
For how much time will be fresh air in the coupe?
Myjo course he did not know and hi fell on the exam.
Out of the office waits Haso and hi told him what happened and said to him, Haso no matter what hi will ask you you don't open the window.
Haso then enters and the professor again repeat the same question,
Haso said the professor for example you travel by train and is very warm in coupe.What will you do?
I Take off my jacket.
Its very warm "said Professor
I take off my sweater and shirt
But it is terribly hot???
I take off my pants and socks said Haso.
Then annoyed professor begins to rage.
And what do you think if across from you is sitting big guy and he gets hard until you take off your clothes?
Professor as I'm concerned the whole coupe can f... me but I wont open the window...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FUNNY STORY
One day I met a wonderful gentleman and fell in love. When it became clear that we are serious , I have decided to stop eating beans.A few months later, on my birthday, my car broke down while I was returning home from work. Since I lived in the village, I called MY husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.Going so by the time I came across a small public house from which the smell of beans and I just could not resist. Since I had to walk more miles and miles, thought I was going to be through the release of all side effects until I come home. I entered the tavern and the hour of work I time or two "three servings of beans. When I continued to walk, I tried to rid myself of all the gas.When I arrived, my husband was happy to see me and said cheerfully: - "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner! " Then I was blindfolded and led me to the chair at the table for dining.I sat, and just when he wanted to take off cover, the phone rang. Forced me to promise him that I would not touch the cover until he returned, and went to report. Beans that I ate it still worked and the pressure became unbearable, so I took the opportunity while my husband does not return, abruptly to one side and lets ' one. Not only was it loud, but it is stinking as when the truck with fertilizer, passing by the mill, run over by a skunk. I took the napkin with wings and vigorously blew the stench.Then I stressed to the other side and broke three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. I was hearing my husband that hi was still talking on the phone in the next room, I continued like this to lower the next few minutes.Pleasure was indescribable. When the greeting on the phone marked the end of my freedom, I made a few quick circular motion napkin to blow everything back a napkin on my lap and with a sense of satisfaction and relief, I put MY hands on MY lap.My face is surely the most innocent possible expression betrayed when my husband came back and apologized that are so long. He asked me if I was sticking out and I assured him that I did.At this point, we took off the blindfold, and twelve guests who were sitting at a table in a voice cried out:- "Happy Birthday!"I fell unconscious!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BIRTHDAY
Police officer enters in church and begins to blow the candles. The priest goes to him and asks:
- Why did you blow the candles?
- What do you mean why? Today is my birthday!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FART COMPETITION
Grandparents starts compiting in farting , first grandpa farts and extinguished the fire, Granma farts and blow fireplace then grandfather said, oh it is easy when you shoot from double-barreled.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
COPS JOKE
Two cops and police dog are going on patrol. One of the cops always
bends down and looks at the dogs ass.
- What are you always looking behind the dog ? asks the other.
-Well, one kid goes behind us and said: ".. see a dog with two assholles,
and I see only one.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DRIVING LICENCE
Policeman:
What do you drive it can not be called a car!
Gypsy driver responds:
Well, I told you, thats why I dont have a driver's license!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SCALE
The Englishman boasted the hi bought to his wife a Porsche for a birthday that goes from 0 to 100 for 7 seconds.
Frenchman said: - And I bought mywife a Ferrari that goes for 5 seconds from 0 to 100, "
Bosnian listened and said: - I bought her a gift and for a 1 second goes from 0 to 100, "
Oh, impossible, you talk nonsense,such think doesnt exist. And what did you buy?
Scale- said the Bosnian.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FRIENDS AND THEIR SONS
Four friends, who have not seen each other for 30 years ago, they met again at a party. After a few drinks, one of the men had to go to the toilet. Those who remained talked about their children.
The first man said, My son is my pride and joy. He started working in a successful company at the bottom of the ladder. He studied economics and business administration and soon began to advance in the corporation, and is now president of the company. He is so rich so hi gave as a present to his best friend, a top Mercedes for his birthday.
Another man said, "Hey, that's terrific! And my son is my pride and joy. He started working in a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. In the end hi became partner in the the company, and owns most of the assets of the company. Ht is so rich that HI gave HIS best friend, brand new- jet for his birthday.
The third man said, Well that's great! My son is studying at the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. And he gave very beautiful and expensive house to his best friend for his birthday: a villa of 30,000 square meters.
Three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the toilet and asked, "What congratulate each other?
One of the three said, We talked about the pride that we feel because of the success of our children. And your son?
The fourth man said, My son is gay and earns as a stripper dancing at a nightclub. The three friends said: "What a shame ... What a disappointment! The fourth man replied: No,Im not ashamed. He is my son and I love him. And is not that bad pass in life. For his birthday who was two weeks ago hi got a lovely mansion of 30,000 square meters, the new- jet and a top Mercedes from his three boyfriends.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AIR CONDITIONER
Mujo and Haso went to sea, Mujo took the door of his car and Haso his cookies .
Mujoasked Haso -Haso what will youdo with your sweets?
So I can eat them and what will you do with that door from your car ?
-So when it will be hot I can open the window.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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